Portugal - Retorno a casa / Returning home - April 2017
It changes when you are on vacation or when you are working, when you travel or stay "at home", when you are in the country, on the beach or in the city ... probably when you go to the moon!
But I believe this change does not necessarily occur for the same reasons.
I've been away for two months. I have not seen (and I still didn’t see) many people who are dear to me. I came to my father's birthday and mine. My brother and my sister-in-law (who live abroad) have been here during these days too.
I have my things scattered around over a number of different places and there is a rather bizarre feeling that I am spread out too. And in a certain way, I am.
When I arrived, the rhythm speeded up, there was a lot of new information, many stimuli, many questions (mine and from others).
This thing of “Time”, it really interests me because it influences the way I live. The quality of life I have and the way how I feel.
Throughout this week I have had the opportunity to see many of the most important people in my life. However, the metaphor that comes to my mind is that of an extraordinary meal, with all the delicacies and favourite dishes, that one dreamt of eating long ago… and then it is given 5 minutes to do it. Crazy! Without knowing where to start, with immense greed and swallowing without chewing...
I was talking about these issues and others with José Soutelinho, a recent friend, also a traveler, whom I greatly admire and value. When we travel we offer ourselves to the world and life, in an act of surrender and faith, knowing that we will necessarily undergo a transformation (even if we do not know which one and what kind of).
When we return to "home" (for me Portugal, although it begins to feel that I have several “homes”), it seems that everything is the same, but it is not. The others have changed too!
There is an encounter and, at the same time, a mismatch. And if, on the one hand, it is good, on the other hand, it is painful.
Since I arrived, I have felt the need to have answers, to be certain, to know. And as much as I desire and feel tempted to have an answer to questions as: "what about now? What are you going to do? ", If I want to be honest and kind to me, I can only answer," I do not know".
As a Portuguese proverb says - "give time to time and hay to the cows."(reviewed by Nikki O'Flaherty Agoas - Thank you!!😊)